


don't cha

by telekinetic redhead chick (openended)



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Multi, Texting, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, Twitter, evan you are not straight please stop pretending, transcontinental booty calls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-16
Updated: 2012-08-16
Packaged: 2017-11-12 06:09:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/openended/pseuds/telekinetic%20redhead%20chick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Evan weren’t so irrevocably convinced of his heterosexuality, they could’ve fixed this a long time ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't cha

Jen’s fairly certain that this has been years in the making, if not a full decade. 

She gets Sarah out of the apartment for an entire week (Stéphane helped on that front; not so much with the dog, which ends up in Doggy Day Care for the week less because of her tendency to interrupt during important moments and more because of her tendency to eat Jen’s shoes) and gets Johnny on board with a single phone call. It didn’t take much at all to convince him to fly out to LA; she’s been aware of his feelings about her boyfriend for years. If Evan weren’t so irrevocably convinced of his heterosexuality, they could’ve fixed this a long time ago.

He knows Johnny’s coming because there’s absolutely no way to hide this – _@begoodswan: TSA, my flight to LA leaves in half an hour but if you’re quick about it we can get drinks before you frisk me like that_ – and, bless his heart, he’s not so inept to think that it’s another one of those Jen And Johnny Set The Town On Fire weekends. Maybe he has been paying attention after all.

Jen finds herself in the unfortunate position of having to explain to her boyfriend that she’s arranged for a threesome without his knowledge.

The conversation goes about as well as she imagined.

She lets him talk and gesticulate and pace and emote and generally be an idiot about things for ten minutes, which, all things considered, really ought to earn her a Nobel Peace Prize. “Sit down,” she says, when she’s finally had it with him defending how straight he is.

To her eternal surprise, he does.

He’s not quite on board with the idea by the time she’s done talking, but he’s at least a little less averse to it. She sends him on an alcohol run, more to give him something to do than them actually needing booze, and sends off a text, knowing that Johnny’s currently on a layover in Salt Lake City.

(310): he won’t run away, but maybe keep your cock in your pants for five minutes after you get here  
(973): you ruin all my fun  
(310): fine, pay for your own plane ticket  
(973): ho ;)  
(310): bitch :)

* * *

The alcohol helps, dramatically. She has to confiscate Johnny’s phone to keep him from livetweeting the entire experience (when she checks her timeline tomorrow morning, the last tweet from him will be _pixy stix and vodka – fabulous, dahling, fabulous @kirkology @evanbot_ ) and then has to confiscate Evan’s phone to keep him from texting her across the room about how weirded out he is by this as if Johnny can’t tell that’s what he’s doing (she loses patience with him at _but we grew up together_ , especially since there are pictures of her and Evan when they were eleven and they’ve been seeing each other naked in a very not-locker-room kind of way for a year now).

Jen’s the only one who’s done this before, a fact Johnny knew the morning after and a fact Evan’s been trying to ignore ever since he found out, and when she realizes that Johnny’s actually taking her advice about keeping it in his pants for a while in deference to Evan’s obvious nerves, she decides that if this is actually going to happen, she’s going to need to start it. She stands up, ostensibly to refill drinks, but mostly so she can let them figure things out on their own for a few minutes.

Because she’s doing this for them. Because the flirting has gotten ridiculous. Because she’s had it with Evan’s total inability to realize that what Johnny feels for him is real (and Evan’s total inability to realize that the feelings train runs in both directions on that route, and neither direction is a friendship line). Because she genuinely loves both of them. And if this is going to be a thing, if all three of them are shortly going to end up happy and naked in her bed, the two of them (Evan, really, because Johnny’s been down with this for years) need to have half a moment without her to get comfortable with the idea.

When she comes back, Johnny’s shifted subtly against the couch so his legs are spread just a bit wider, perfect position for making out. And Evan hasn’t made any effort to move his leg away from Johnny’s.

They are, however, having a discussion about her coffee table. Granted, they’re talking about Jen’s Coffee Table 1.0, the one that broke during a table dance at the Halloween party last year, not Jen’s Coffee Table 2.0 currently in front of them. But still, the coffee table. She rolls her eyes, takes a final swig of her cranberry-juice-and-vodka-mostly-vodka, and kisses Johnny.

They talked about this beforehand, when they were plotting; this isn’t about Jennifer Kirk and Johnny Weir, not really. This is about Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek, and she’s there as a catalyst (Johnny gave her shit about using a big fat science word). Because while Evan definitely wants this, they know he won’t do it if she isn’t there ( _973: it’s not gay if it’s in a three-way is such bs, can we please educate him otherwise?_ ). If this doesn’t work, Johnny will fly back East and they won’t mention it again. If this does work, Johnny will fly back East and they’ll find a way to deal with the distance. At some level, it’s been about all three of them for a while.

She listens to Evan being startled by the sight of his girlfriend kissing another guy (another guy he was 157% sure wasn’t even into women that way) and straddles Johnny’s lap for show. Johnny’s a really good kisser, though she never thought it possible for him not to be, and it takes her a moment to remember that there are three of them involved in this. She blindly reaches over and grabs Evan’s hand and gently tugs, encouraging him to find a way to join in. 

Evan takes the hint and slides behind Jen, not entirely certain how to do this. It’s not like she gave him This Is How You Have A Threesome lessons when she told him just why Johnny was flying out here. He slips his hands up Jen’s shirt, wholly unsurprised that she isn’t wearing a bra.

Jen opens her eyes and breaks the kiss so she can try to judge where Johnny is with this; it’s more emotional for him than the other two, finally getting a chance to act on the feelings he’s played off as Just My Personality over the past years. But she catches him rolling his eyes at Evan’s timidness and she bites her lip to hold back laughter. Pressing a kiss to Johnny’s cheek, she moves over just slightly enough to let Johnny lift his head.

Evan lets out a very undignified squeak of surprise when Johnny’s lips connect with his, but Johnny’s tongue works his magic. Though Jen fully intends on giving Evan grief about the squeak later, between his hands on her breasts and Johnny’s hips starting to move in a sensual rhythm that they all pick up quickly, remembering that intention suddenly seems highly unnecessary.

* * *

“Can I have my phone back?” Johnny asks, much later. 

Evan’s passed out between them and Jen takes a swig directly from the wine bottle. She doesn’t have any recollection of who brought it in with them. “No,” she says, and offers Johnny the bottle.

“I’ll sing,” he threatens lightly after taking a sip. Wine from the bottle isn’t his scene, but Jen’s bedroom is distinctly lacking in glasses and more alcohol seems like a good idea. When her only counter argument is an arched eyebrow, he starts singing an unholy mash-up of Kelly Clarkson and Lady Gaga. 

“You’ll wake Sleeping Beauty,” though there’s absolutely no chance of that happening. Evan quickly discovered that while Jen was fun, Jen _and_ Johnny was triple the fun. She’s rather proud that he’s as asleep as he is right now.

Johnny hands the bottle back to Jen and tilts his head, studying Evan. “Does he do this often?” He knows all the jokes about men falling asleep after sex, but he’s never had that happen before and had assumed it only applied to straight men.

Jen shrugs and leans back against the headboard. She crosses her legs at the ankles and tugs the sheet up around her waist. Her air conditioning has been more arctic than helpful lately. “If I’m really on my game.”

A late-night thunderstorm starts up in the distance.

“Thanks for coming out here,” she says after a few moments of silence, broken only by a fire truck whining its way down the street.

“It was fun,” Johnny says.

Though he tries to hide it, Jen picks up the hint of sadness in his voice. It helps that she’s known him since before they both understood about stilettos. She reaches out over Evan and lightly clasps Johnny’s hand. “When he wakes up, we’ll find out where this goes. But I think you’re in the green.”

Johnny squeezes her hand and nods.

* * *

**@evanbot:** weirdest dream. lady gaga was snorting pixy stix off my girlfriend’s coffee table.  
 **@kirkology:** @evanbot you break that again you’re putting a new one together and i’m not helping this time  
 **@begoodswan:** @kirkology @evanbot i’ll comment from the sidelines  
 **@evanbot:** @begoodswan NO BEDAZZLING THE COFFEE TABLE @kirkology  
 **@kirkology:** @evanbot hey, @begoodswan can do what he wants with sparkles.  
 **@evanbot:** @kirkology @begoodswan no sparkles around me  
 **@begoodswan:** @evanbot you look fabulous in glitter / cc: @kirkology  
 **@kirkology:** @evanbot so many sequins @begoodswan  
 **@neonzebra:** @kirkology @evanbot @begoodswan should I ask?  
 **@hughesgold:** @neonzebra better if you don’t.

**Author's Note:**

> For Nina and Kat. Because this was a damn long time coming. Drink every time there's an MBP reference.


End file.
